I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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