All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
