Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
