i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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