we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
