do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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