Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize