Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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