tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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