dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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