Where is the hickey?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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