I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
not ubering you a puppy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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