porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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