Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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