im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i believe in u and ur pee
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
