She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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