I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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