it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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