so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
