How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
