a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dick very happy bro
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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