Too much gin, very little bucket
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
