if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
now i know why i became what i already was.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
