Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
