he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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