i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
