The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
