Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
