Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
