I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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