this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize