Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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