so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
