Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize