I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
