Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
