..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
