i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
