Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
