well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
