So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have tasted many bathrooms
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize