i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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