I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Bring me that man meat
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
