We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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