i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
