It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
