got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
