Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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