Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
