i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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