NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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