would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize