sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
