i was born a porn star she said
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
