it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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