Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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