if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
