the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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