nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize