I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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