are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
