I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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