he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
