Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Actions speak louder than pants.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
