I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So much Jack, so little girl.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Someone stole a lamp last night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
