This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
