I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
