I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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