3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
