YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
