I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
