I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
