so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
