Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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