It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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