Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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