If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
