No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
